The Adventures of Cornelius and Mortimer

Það var sólríkur dagur í bænum Offcester á Englandi og vinirnir Cornelius og Mortimer ákváðu að skella sér á ströndina. Fámennt var á ströndinni þennan dag og þeir sáu einungis ástfangið, nakið par í heitum ástarleik í sandinum. Skyndilega rak Mortimer upp kvenmannsóp með þeim afleiðingum að Cornelius missti ísinn sinn í sandinn.

M: "What on earth is that black object buried in the sand, my dear Cornelius?"
C: "Well I don’t have a clue Mortimer!"
M: "Ohh good Lord! This is a gun!"
C: "It’s obviously very old. I wonder if it works!?!"
*BANG* *AAA*
M: "I think that your question was answered my old friend."
C: "Dear Lord! I think we shot the couple!!"
M: "Huhumm… you did my lad! But I think that won’t be a problem. That’s just Herman, the drunken sailorman and his mistress. No one will miss them."
C: "But what shall we do with the drunken sailor?"
M: "Oh Cornelius! Now is not the time to sing. We just have to go to the Danish shopkeeper and buy a plastic-bag and a shovel to dig them into the sand."
C: "What a splendid idea, pal! Jolly good then!!"

Þegar vinirnir komu í Den danske fødevarebutik tók kaupmaðurinn Hans á móti þeim að dönskum sið.

H: "Hvad!?!"
C: "God dag! Kan vi ha’ to sorte plastikposer og en skovle tak?"
H: "Nej, I kan ikke ha’ to sorte plastikposer og en skovle!"
M: "Men, hvorfor??"
H: "Jeg servere ikke mordere!"
C: "Hvorfor tror du at vi er mordere?"
H: "Jeg er ikke et tossehovet! Du holder en pistol, idiot!"
M: "Ehh, ja det er sandt. Men det er kun en vandpistol."
H: "Hvis det er en vandpistol... skyd mig!"
M: "Er du sikker på det?"
H: "Ja, eller er du en høne?"
*BANG*
C: "What have you done you fool?"
M: "He called me a chicken!!"
C: "But now we have to burry 3 dead bodies!"
M: "I am human you know!"
C: "Yes I know! But a cup of tea will fix everything. I can bet my grandmothers eyeball on that."
M: "But I don’t want a cup of tea."
C: "Lets think for a moment. We are in a Danish shop full of delicacies and Danish money. Then we’ve got the drunken sailorman’s boat."
M: "Why are you always so bloody clever Cornelius?"
C: "I guess I was just born under a lucky star with a silver-spoon in my mouth."
M: "So you want us to take the money and the food and sail to Denmark on the boat?"
C: "You hit the nail on the head my dearest pal!"
M: "But what shall we do with the bodies?"
C: "We’ll just take them with us and sell them in Denmark. I’m sure the zoo will take them!"
M: "What a splendid idea, pal! Hurry up then!"

Cornelius og Mortimer siglu til Danmerkur og þar hélt ævintýri þeirra áfram. En þið fáið ekki að heyra hvernig gekk í Danmörku. Allavega ekki strax.