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THE ADVENTURES OF CORNELIUS AND MORTIMER

Það var sólríkur dagur í bænum Offcester í Englandi og vinirnir Cornelius og Mortimer ákváðu að skella sér á ströndina. Fámennt var á ströndinni þennan dag og þeir sáu einungis ástfangið, nakið par í heitum ástarleik í sandinum. Allt í einu sáu þeir einhvern svartan hlut grafinn í sandinn.

M: “What on earth is that black object buried into the sand, my dear Cornelius?”
C: “Well I don’t have a clue Mortimer!”
M: “Ohh good Lord! This is a gun!”
C: “It’s obviously very old. I wonder if it works!?!”
*BANG* *AHH*
M: “Your question was answered my old friend!”
C: “Dear Lord! I think we shot the couple!!”
M: “Huhumm… you did my lad! But I think that won’t be a problem... that’s just Herman, the drunken sailorman and his mistress. No one will miss them.”
C: “But what shall we do with the drunken sailor??”
M: Oh Cornelius! Now is not the time to sing! We just have to go to the Danish shopkeeper and buy a plastic-bag and a shovel to dig them into the sand.
C: What a splendid idea, pal! Lets go!!

Þegar vinirnir komu í Den danske fødevarebutik tók kaupmaðurinn Hans á móti þeim að dönskum sið.

H: “Hvad!?!”
C: “God dag! Kan vi ha’ to sorte plastikposer og en skovle tak??”
H: “Nej, I kan ikke ha’ to sorte plastikposer og en skovle!! ”
M: “Men... hvorfor??”
H: “Jeg servere ikke mordere!!”
C: “Hvorfor tror du at vi er mordere??”
H: “Jeg er ikke et tossehovet! Du holder en pistol, idiot!!”
M: “Ehh... ja det er sandt. Men det er kun en vandpistol.”
H: “Hvis det er en vandpistol... skyd mig!!”
M: “Er du sikker på det??”
H: “Ja... eller er du en høne??”
*BANG*
C: “What have you done you fool??”
M: “He called me a chicken!!”
C: “But now we have to burry 3 dead bodies!”
M: “I am human you know!”
C: “Yes I know! But a cup of tea will fix everything. I can bet my grandmothers eyeball on that!”
M: “But I don’t want a cup of tea!”
C: “But lets think for a moment. We are in a Danish shop full of delicacies and Danish money. Then we’ve got the drunken sailorman’s boat!”
M: “Why are you always so bloody clever Cornelius??”
C: “I guess I was just born under a lucky star and with a silver-spoon in my mouth.”
M: “So you want us to take the money and the food and sail to Denmark on the boat??”
C: “You hit the nail on the head my dearest pal!”
M: “But what shall we do with the bodies??”
C: “We’ll just take them with us and sell them in Denmark... I’m sure the zoo will take them!”
M: “What a splendid idea, pal!! Lets go!!”

Cornelius og Mortimer siglu til Danmerkur og þar hélt ævintýri þeirra áfram. En þið fáið ekki að heyra hvernig gekk í Danmörku. Allavega ekki strax....

16. mars 2003